If you support the abortion ban law, unfollow me and never associate with me again thanks and burn in hell
“She lay in the darkness of her white satin bedroom, the mirrors throwing aureoles of false moonlight, the rows of perfume bottles creating false suspended gardens.”
— Anaïs Nin, from Stella; Winter of Artifice: Three Novelettes.
(via xshayarsha)
I was always ashamed to take. So I gave. It was not a virtue. It was a disguise.
Anaïs Nin, from a diary entry featured in The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4: 1944-1947
post: if you are a man and behave in [x] way, you are most likely coming off at creepy to women, even if you don’t intend to. please don’t do this. instead, maybe try doing [x].
men: oh my god yalls standards are so fucking high these days, as a man i have no idea what to even do anymore?? can i do anything??? how am i supposed to know if something i do is creepy or not?
women: i mean it says it right there, in the post…it’s quite specific on what to do and what not to do…just listen.
men: JESUS HAVE YOU EVEN HEARD OF THIS THING CALLED ‘EDUCATING PEOPLE’??? MAYBE TRY EXPLAINING THINGS TO US INSTEAD OF RESORTING TO ATTACKING US
“if i have a nickel for every time i stayed up too late for someone who would never wake up for me… a dollar for every minute i tried to make a sad man feel less sad.. a penny for every time i had to bend and stretch to prove to someone that I’m here, that i exist.”
Melissa Lozada-Oliva, Button Poetry, If I Got Paid For All Of My Emotional Labor
The issue I have of the assumption that one person needs to take emotional care of another is that it’s never actually about it being “the right thing to do”. It’s never about “people should be nice to each other”.
Instead, it’s always about “well this is what women are supposed to do”, because it’s always up to women to be the caregivers and the emotional support because it’s their job, it’s their effort that needs to be expended, and it has nothing to do with mutual respect and kindness. I would likely agree with those arguments if it were about that and not a gendered issue.
Men aren’t usually expected to do emotional labor. Society has little exception that they would do emotional labor for anyone, except maybe a girlfriend. This is why men cite being emotionally supportive as one of the reasons they are a “nice guy” deserving of a relationship from the woman they’ve been being supportive of. Our society programs men to believe that their emotional labor is romantic. Women, on the other hand, are expected to do emotional labor for free, not as part of a relationship, or even a friendship. We have to be able to do emotional labor for anyone and everyone or we get labeled as “cold” or simply “a bitch.” This societal expectation of women and men gave birth to “nice guys” and their expectation that being kind is rewarded with sex. Our society has taught us when men do emotional labor they must be repaid by people already expected to do it for free.
“I have rarely seen anyone’s mind be changed by even the most well-intentioned arguments. Because, let me assure you, men who sit down and issue these glib challenges in the name of debate do not actually want their minds changed. They want to argue with someone, because they think that arguing is fun.”
—
Women Don’t Owe Men a Debate About Feminism
(via anti-capitalistlesbianwitch)
